May 7, 2022
Rain, Rain, Go Away
It’s been raining for days. Real rain, steady, not the typical Pacific Northwest version, which is more of a misty wetness that comes in gentle interludes throughout a day. This “real” rain makes for the kind of day where you want to sit quietly and think about this or that, maybe meditate (ahem).
Speaking of which, I’ve been surprised (pleasantly) at receiving so many comments from you all about your experiences with meditation. I didn’t know so many of us hope to incorporate mindfulness practices into our lives and, at the same time, find it such a challenge.
I think I had invitations to move toward intentional mindfulness long before I was ready to notice. In my first years of teaching, for example, I had a soft-spoken old codger of a mentor. Sometimes she’d give me a long look, followed by a longer moment of silence and, sometimes, a pithy statement. One was, “Don’t just do something, stand there.” Could I do that for just 15 minutes a day, she wondered, seemingly to herself. (Except I was eavesdropping.)
There’s something fortifying in stillness, I learned that year. Not that I was successful at just standing, physically or metaphorically– I did it enough to feel the way my thinking changed, the way my body released a little of the tension it held. Eventually, though, I thought about standing instead of standing; I figured that was close enough. (Uh, no….)
I’m sure you’ve heard the adage, “Are you a human doing or a human being?” Guess which I’ve been for 99% of my life?
How Do You Go from Being a Do-er to a Be-er?
[Bonus points awarded to the first correct answer.]
You get cancer? Yes indeedy! Give those extra points to the woman in the front row taking the TKI. Nothing like a little chemo or radiation or immunology or a few side effects to knock you on your ass. Forget standing still– sometimes you’re not even standing.
There are at least two other correct answers, of course. One is, you retire. I’ve heard all that empty time is unnerving at the beginning, but that gradually, you find yourself reflecting, stopping to look more closely at what you never saw before. You discover pockets of time where you are just…being.
The other is, you make the decision to intentionally change your life. Maybe you join a prayer circle, maybe you quit eating sugar and get up early to exercise and meditate.
I don’t think these three answers are mutually exclusive. I note, however, that one can choose where and when and how one will retire, and/or one can intentionally choose to adopt life-changing practices. Cancer? It’s more like the booby prize in a game you didn’t even know you were playing.
(Yes, you can get cancer and then choose to __________ [fill in the blank.] But if cancer drives the decision to retire or intentionally change your life, well, I’m not sure we’re sharing the same definition of choice.)
If You’re Not Doing, Aren’t You Being?
That’s a hard NO. Well, I suppose you’re always being. But I’m talking about a different form of being. Cancer may knock you flat, but all that does is clear your day of things like work or laundry or mowing the lawn. Being starts when you drag yourself upright, wipe your bleary eyes and say, man do I need a shower and wow, the sun’s out. And you turn your face toward that warmth you almost forgot; you hold the knowledge of it close; you feel glad for it.
I was riding my bike the other day, repeating last week’s route just to see if things would go more smoothly. Happily, they did. As I rode, I could see the Willamette River to my left and, for a little while, a big marshy area on my right. Suddenly, I spotted a great blue heron, standing at attention as he hunted. As I slowed to take a look, I caught sight of a second one, some distance away from the first. Runners pounded by, and some cyclists. I sat for a moment, taking those birds in. Wow.
Being is as if, at any given moment of a day, a great blue heron stands knee deep at a marsh’s edge, waiting. And you go.
Sponsor a Rider, for Lung Research
To donate to Mark’s cause, go here.
Thanks for reading. Here’s hoping today’s a day you catch sight of something that’s been waiting for you.
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P.S.
“To be is to do”—Socrates.
“To do is to be”—Jean-Paul Sartre.
“Do be do be do”—Frank Sinatra.
Images
- Rainy sneakers by janrye
- Juggling woman by pinclipart.com
- Devils by pinclipart.com
- Heron by OpenClipart-Vectors
- Sunset by Cindy Lever
- Being by John Hain