Part I
Say you have a finite amount of energy. What would you spend it on? That’s the latest puzzlement.
What matters?
Because the more we learn about lung cancer, the more daunting the situation seems. And so, the question of what matters becomes increasingly relevant.
For now, we are learning. Learn About Lung Cancer– American Lung Association is number one on the hit parade right now, soon to be followed by videos and reading from the National Comprehensive Cancer Network.
How can the medical folks say, out of one side of their mouths, wait, wait– we don’t know for sure that it’s cancer yet, and out of the other, we need the tests for staging purposes, to see if it’s spread to other parts of your body. Grrrr.
COVID test today, in preparation for next Tuesday’s biopsy (EBUS). First COVID vaccination on Sunday.
Part II
In starting the lung cancer learning process, two things stood out. One, the repeated admonition to advocate for oneself until all questions and concerns are addressed, no matter what. Two, that conversation with Nurse Nancy still rolling around in my head meant I was still annoyed. So I wrote a message to the surgeon last night and asked for clarity about the upcoming appointment with her and then with the pulmonologist. How were they collaborating? Who would be the point person?
She wrote back this morning with a very clear answer: because each of them scheduled tests, each would do a followup to look at results and discuss next steps. The most likely next step will be that I move on to a medical oncologist and radiology oncologist, but sometimes after the EBUS, different kinds of biopsies need to be done. And, “Our nurse navigator will contact you and she is a great resource to help you through this work-up process.”
I wanted to write back something snippy, but I thanked her for her clarity, said I would definitely be keeping my appointment with her, and told her I had, indeed, spoken to the nurse navigator, whom I would continue to reach out to as my first point of contact.
What’s good is that the pulmonology group has done very cool research on radiation therapies. So we shall see.
Part III
PET scan results are in. “No active evidence of extra thoracic hypermetabolic metastasis.” (Well, there are those pesky thyroid nodules, but I’ll make sure Dr. Thyroid sees this report.) I take this as VERY good news, and I don’t think I will even look up what an SUV is…yet. 😁
In the department of what matters? I think, for me, that’s not about making a bucket list and then flying all over the world to check things off. I think it’s a question of what matters in daily life?
In The Writing Life, Annie Dillard wrote, “How we spend our days is, of course, how we spend our lives. What we do with this hour, and that one, is what we are doing.” As I read that, I think, what matters in this hour? The next one? And I wonder, perhaps what matters is not about doing, but about being?
Part IV
So, in the middle of this pithy thinking, the phone rings. Guess who? Nurse Nancy II, since Nurse Nancy I is out today. Dr. Surgeon wanted someone to touch base to make sure I had all my questions answered. “Oh, yes, thank you,” I said in my sweetest tones, “Now I do.”
Lotus image by rephrase from Pixabay
Smiley image by Gordon Johnson from Pixabay
Thank goodness for the good news!
What does Doctor Thoracic say about nodules?
I showed Woody the brain photo (not your brain). That's definitely a wow!
My lymph nodes are classified as one step below the worst possible classification. Cancer staging based on size of "nodule" is usually based on size; the charts discuss sizes in terms of mm. The "mass," AKA tumor, is 4.5 cm. There are number designations for all of it. I guess I should make that clearer.