Ya Can’t Make Me Feel Better By Saying “We don’t know anything for sure”

But I think it’s important to have a realistic assessment of the situation, which means combining all the stuff that’s been discussed so far and then learning as much as possible. Because the more out front with the realities we are, and the more information we have, the better we will be able to cope.

For example, M and I took a nice walk yesterday and talked about current statistics on five year-life expectancies of different stages of lung cancer. These are not great. And, there’s nothing to be done about it, except to know what the studies have shown (and that there are lies, damn lies, and statistics 😉.) But you know what? I feel more centered today than I did over the entire weekend.

You see, to know this stuff is not the same as to lie down and give up.

Do I sound defensive? It’s just that it’s hard to have people try to console me with “well, we really don’t know anything yet.” Because here’s what is currently written down.

Stage IIIa

And, it’s possible the MRI results will change these numbers, not for the better.

So. Let’s be real. This is pretty grim. The treatments that I most likely face have “severe side effects.” I am going to need everyone who cares about me– hell, anyone who’s ever met me– to be in my corner. Prayer, pleas to the Universe, positive vibes, cards, emails, comments here– I appreciate all of these more than you can know.

When I learn something new, it usually flattens me for a day or two, but then I wake up and feel centered again. So that’s good. And, while I may blather about details or make weird jokes, those are all ways of coping. I appreciate a shared laughter or even empathetic silence.

Think of me tomorrow.

The information is from the NCCN Lung Cancer Guidelines–Early & Locally Advanced (National Comprehensive Cancer Network).Staging system
The AJCC (American Joint Committee on Cancer) staging system is used to stage lung cancer. In this system, the letters T, N, and M describe different areas of cancer growth. Your doctors will assign a score to each letter.The T score describes the growth of the primary tumor. There are seven main scores—TX, T0, Tis, T1, T2, T3, and T4. The more serious the growth the higher the T score.

The N score reflects how far lung cancer has spread within nearby lymph nodes. There are five scores—NX, N0, N1, N2, and N3. The more serious the growth the higher the N score.

The M score tells if there’s cancer spread to body parts far from the lung in which it started. M0 means the cancer has not spread to distant parts. M1 means the cancer has spread to distant parts.

Numbered stages
The TNM scores will be combined to assign the cancer a stage. The stages of lung cancer range from stage 0 to stage 4. Occult carcinoma is also included. Doctors write these stages as—stage 0, stage I, stage II, stage III, and stage IV.