March 19, 2021
Wednesday’s Doctor Experience
A calm demeanor, a hint of an Irish accent, and a likely understated view of what is to come: that’s Dr. Oncology. This is one smart cookie: a BS in chemistry, an MBA, an MD. Like me, she’s thickening around the middle; I loved her teal blue sweater with the woven-in sparkly thread. I felt my usual speedy talk slow down as I took in what she was saying.
Looking back, I think it was hard for me to connect with her individually with so many others in the room. M is applying his intent analytic skills and insisting on reviewing all our questions, which I think does not always coincide with Pacific Northwest Nice. R asks treatment-specific questions based on her experiences. Yesterday’s: will I have a port? Looks like no, but if they can’t get to my veins easily, that could change.
That’s the guiding principle: it could all change. At any step of the process, new needs may make themselves known, and treatment will have to pivot. Living in the moment is not always an easy way to be in the world, but it is a valuable discipline to practice. I can do this.
The Plan
- No surgery right now.
- Instead, a joint course of daily radiation for 5-6 weeks, supplemented by lower-dose chemo once a week. The goal is to kill the badness in situ (Yes! She actually said this! Such a cool term.)
- Then, scans to check for metastases
- If clear, begin immunotherapy, 1x per month for a year
Other details
- Each week, check in with her: bloodwork, physical check.
- She cannot predict side effects, but under no circumstances should I expect to tough them out. I assured her I had no intention of doing that. I want All The Drugs.
- Sadly, bad activity in my thyroid probably precludes my participation in a clinical trial. Oh well.
- Definitely get my second Covid shot.
Thursday’s Doctor Experiences
#1
Lovely conversation with Dr. Pulmonology, whom I truly love, and now so does everyone else. Our conversation: an open-armed welcome to mom, R, M. A review of PET scans, bronchoscopy results, and a report. My case was reviewed by the cancer board on Monday, see The Plan, above.
Also, he loves Dr. Oncology and thinks Dr. Radiology is “brilliant and kind.” Apparently, Dr. Radiology’s research interests include immunology, which is The Big Thing in lung care advances. He thinks my team is fabulous, both the medical team and the family team. I agree on both counts.
#2
Called my former pulmonologist in NY to run things by him. He is a doctor’s doctor– often when I went to see him in NY, another doc was there as a patient. Brilliant diagnostician, all-around nice guy. Ha called back right away, which was lovely. He felt that I have a solid team who is on top of everything, and that the treatment is exactly on target. Most important, he said, they seem people-oriented.
He is trying to do some work to expand the field of pulmonary rehabilitation, so urged me to continue my obsession with Peloton and add upper body resistance training. This way, he said, if I end up in surgery, I will be miles ahead of the game. He also said he would be glad to chat with any of the pulmonary rehab folks here– I’m going to try to get referred to them to make sure I’m doing stuff to strengthen my chest wall muscles. (Uh, like who ever knew you could strengthen these?) (Uh, like, what are these?)
Now What?
I’m pretty done with doctorness for a while. Nothing until Dr. Radiology next week. Maybe pulmonary function tests, but so far, Drs. Pulmonology and Oncology don’t think they’re relevant unless I need surgery. I’ll see whether Dr. Radiology thinks, but I am inclined to scrape those from my calendar!
I find myself deeply grateful for the many people who are rooting for me. Because I still have no symptoms that anything is amiss, I’m also a tad bemused– embarrassed?– by offers of dinners and other kinds of help. Once treatment starts, I could imagine this might change, but only time will tell.
Today I feel tired under the onslaught of all this information, all these words. I’m a little grateful for the cloudy rainy weather and the silence it imposes on the world.
Thank you for reading.
