Stories of Lung Cancer

We tell ourselves stories in order to live.     ~Joan Didion

Skewed

February 26, 2021

At 3:00 this afternoon, I felt normal, as though nary a thought of cancer had ever approached my mind.I was actually feeling pretty smug. I’d been able to schedule a vaccine shot, thanks to a tip from one of my teacher candidates and her mentor that the county would be releasing a ton of shots at noon. I got to the website at 11:50 a.m., went through the conversation with the screening bot to ensure I met eligibility requirements, and sat, finger poised to click on the Schedule Now button. Then, BAM! I got an appointment!

I also had some wonderful meetings. One was with one of my teacher candidates, a deeply thoughtful young woman. It was one of those conversations where it seemed I addressed her questions with just the right response-queries that she could take her own thinking to a new place. That’s just magic.

But I’m ending the day off-kilter. Sort like I’m beaming from one planet to another (think Star Trek), and I forgot, until I arrived, that the home planet isn’t beautiful any more.

The PET scan is tomorrow. I’m a little weirded out by the fact that it’s going to take two hours.

I’m also a little weirded out by coming back to such looming unknowns. Will I be able to keep working with my students? Will I be able to____________?

Maybe it’s a good night to go to bed early.

Image by Somchai Chitprathak from Pixabay

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